Please. Please don’t fall in love with someone else. Please… I should be telling you to go for it, and wish you luck from afar, because it’s something you want, because I shouldn’t hold you back but… but I selfishly want you for myself. I don’t want someone else to have you. Not when you told me you have (had?) feelings for me still and want(ed?) to try again.
Please. The last thing I want is for you to be out of reach.
“It’s funny. When you leave your home and wander really far, you always think, ‘I want to go home.’ But then you come home, and of course it’s not the same. You can’t live with it, you can’t live away from it. And it seems like from then on there’s always this yearning for some place that doesn’t exist. I felt that. Still do. I’m never completely at home anywhere.”
All I’ve been doing lately is over-thinking. My life as I know it is suffocating me. I can’t breathe and I keep gasping for air. My head space is cluttered and my heart is shattered. I simply need to get away from everyone and everything that exists to me; Running away seems to be the only option.
“What can I do with my happiness? How can I keep it, conceal it, bury it where I may never lose it? I want to kneel as it falls over me like rain, gather it up with lace and silk, and press it over myself again.”—Anaïs Nin (via moldavia)
I don't want to fall in love with you. I want to grow in love with you. Saying fall makes me think you won't catch me and leave me like the others. But when I say grow, it sounds like we'll stay together and become stronger.